jiksa_x: (Default)
jiksax ([personal profile] jiksa_x) wrote2016-01-04 03:23 pm

Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day 3

Fandom Snowflake Challenge banner

Day 03
In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator.

I meant to write these as self-recs, I swear. And then instead I accidentally just waxed poetic about why these three stories are significant to me instead. *jazz hands*

You Shouldn’t Go With Him (When You Could’ve Had Me) 20k
Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz, Patrick Stump/Ray Toro
During the hiatus, Patrick starts dating Ray while he records Soul Punk in Chicago. Out of nowhere, Pete starts sending him cryptic text messages: lyrics, poetry, things Patrick could probably decipher if he tried. But. It’s been months since they put the band on hold, and Patrick’s still entirely out of things to say to Pete. Cue surprises, angst, mistakes, heartache, porn and a rather blatant disregard for canon timelines.

This story was the first thing I wrote after a decade-long creative dry spell. It tumbled out of my head unexpectedly over the course of a week and I never had any idea what the next scene was going to be while I was writing it. As the story took shape and I committed it to paper, I felt relieved and exhilarated and proud and competent. After posting it to AO3 and receiving surprisingly positive feedback, I felt connected to fandom in a way I hadn’t for the decade+ that I’d been lurking. I stopped admiring other people’s work from afar and actually started leaving comments. I participated in a challenge. I pushed through anxiety that had until then had felt quite overwhelming. I started making friends. This story will always have a place in my heart because it was my way in, it was the unexpected little gem that showed me I had something to contribute.

And I’ll Burn 25.5k
Pete Wentz/Patrick Stump, Frank Iero/Mikey Way
Hooker!AU. Pete’s a 23yo finance professional trying to make sense of his life after an incident in a best buy parking lot. He’s lonely, anxious, disconnected, but lately he’s been driving past this one beautiful boy on a street corner, pale and underweight and most likely jailbait. He finally grows a pair and puts some money in an envelope.

This is probably the thing I’ve written that feels the most complete to me. I’m particularly proud of the characterizations, the silences that neither of them have words to fill, and the use of juxtapositions as a narrative devices (privileged/disprivileged, connected/alienated, fed/hungry, resilient/fragile, etc). Beyond the love story, like most of my work it also tells stories about addiction, sadness, loss, anxiety, loneliness, and is partially autobiographical.

I have the beginning of a sequel in my drafts folder, a story that unpacks what happens after they get together: Pete’s still struggling with his health and Patrick’s still a sex worker and the world still isn’t easy for them. It never quite got off the ground, but talking about it now has made me want to revisit it.

Old Scars / Future Hearts 50k
Grant Morrison/Gerard Way/Frank Iero, Pete Wentz/Patrick Stump, Mikey Way/Kristin Blandford, Ray Toro/Jessica Simpson
Frank is not a fucking junkie, he tells himself repeatedly throughout this story centered on a Narcotics Anonymous community in New Jersey. He isn’t. He just doesn’t quite remember how to deal with his life without booze and drugs. Then he meets Gerard (mysterious and dark and understanding) and Grant (safe and generous and seductive), and things get… complicated.

Through an ensemble cast of addicts in this NA community, this tells a number of parallel stories about recovery, redemption, forgiveness and hope. About starting where you are, letting go of where you’ve been and learning to move towards better things. It’s a little bit about kink and poly, but mostly it’s about pain in all its guises and attempts to hurt less.

Almost in parallel with Frank’s journey in this story, I was struggling with my own anxiety and chronic pain while writing this. It hurt more than anything I’d written before, it was only meant to be 12K and somehow grew all these feelings and backstory and clocked in at a dizzying 50K. I’m still unable to see the forest for the trees with this fic; some of it was written very last minute and I don’t know if it worked like I meant it to. It’s probably the piece of writing I feel the most vulnerable about, the writing process I learned the most from and the story where feedback means the most. This was the first time I’d worked with a beta or showed my work to anyone while writing and it was alternately terrifying and encouraging and I feel very proud of it.

Whew, overshare. Thanks for reading :)
lucifuge5: (Default)

[personal profile] lucifuge5 2016-01-04 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, it's so sweet how that first fic you mention helped you return to fandom AND give free rein to your creativity. There's something very magical about Fandom, isn't there? ^_^
akamine_chan: Created by me; please don't take (Default)

[personal profile] akamine_chan 2016-01-04 08:16 am (UTC)(link)
You encourage people to read your fic with your enthusiasm, bb. That's how it works. <3
turps: (besties (spuzz))

[personal profile] turps 2016-01-04 08:27 am (UTC)(link)
I love how you talk about your stories. It's so obvious how much they mean to you, and that's fantastic.

And now I have more stories I want to read. My to-read list is getting epic *g*
thislossofsleep: (Default)

[personal profile] thislossofsleep 2016-01-04 09:12 am (UTC)(link)
Three amazing fics! I read Old Scars / Future Hearts when I had pneumonia and was feeling pretty miserable about my health too even if it wasn't a long term thing. It's really beautiful. You should be super proud of these <3
lady_smutterella: (Default)

[personal profile] lady_smutterella 2016-01-04 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I reread You shouldn't go with him the other day and just lost myself for a few hours in the world. It's such a lovely piece, and the characters and their pain feels so real to me.

And I'll Burn is perhaps one of the most life changing things I've ever read, bar none. I mean - you know this already because you tolerated all those emails about it, but... hugely important to me.

As for OS/FH - well. I just hope your beta reader was gentle with you and gave you the support you deserve, because I think the end result was just stunning, and I read the whole thing with my heart in my eyes.
lady_smutterella: (Default)

[personal profile] lady_smutterella 2016-01-05 05:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sure she was absurdly proud and honoured to be able to work with you, and is looking forward to moon life ;p

(for srs though, you are joy to work with)
prophetic: (Default)

[personal profile] prophetic 2016-01-04 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I love the "why these stories are significant to me" part of any story, and these ones particularly! You know I adore OS/FH, and think it was a total slam dunk in terms of writing achievement, and I'm marking the others as To Read.

I like the story of what the stories meant to you, particularly because I struggle with Issues where writing is concerned, and so I find your personal stories about these works inspiring.

*gathers up some of your beautiful courage to help me along my way*
turlough: Gerard Way looking melancholic, Honda Civic tour announcement, 23 May 2011 ((mcr) does anyone notice)

[personal profile] turlough 2016-01-04 08:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I started the reading Old Scars/Future Hearts back in September and thought it was fantastic! I wasn't in the best place mentally though so it became a bit too heavy for me and I'd to stop. I've always meant to get back to it when I felt better. And still have it open in a tab! Hopefully this reminder will put me in the mood to start it again! *keeps fingers crossed*
rubytuesday5681: (Default)

[personal profile] rubytuesday5681 2016-01-05 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
It's phenomenal!!! You absolutely should finish reading it when you are in the proper frame of mind!
boozey: (Default)

[personal profile] boozey 2016-01-10 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
Three more on my read list, I can't wait to check them out <3