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2016-02-17 12:08 am

Snowflake challenge: Day 4

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Day 4
In your own space, create a fanwork. Make a drabble, a ficlet, a podfic, or an icon, art or meta or a rec list. Arts and crafts. Draft a critical essay about a particular media. Put together a picspam or a fanmix. Write a review of a Broadway show, a movie, a concert, a poetry reading, a museum trip, a you-should-be-listening-to-this-band essay. Compose some limericks, haikus, free-form poetry, 5-word stories. Document a particular bit of real person canon. Take some pictures. Draw a stick-figure comic. Create something.

Confession: I downloaded Audacity and bought a microphone about... two years ago. I have a drafts folder full of unfinished and unpublished podfics because no matter how much I love the medium, it's always felt like an incredibly personal and revealing fanwork to create in comparison to text, which is my main jam in fandom.

But in the spirit of the Snowflake Challenge and the goals I set for Day 9 of the challenge and stepping out of my comfort zone:

Podfic of a bright tide by whatimages.

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2016-01-15 11:37 pm

Snowflake challenge: Day 13

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Day 13
In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you did not create.

I've decided to rec a few writers who are either new-ish or new to Bandom, videos and two podcasts that are currently taking up all my listening time. *levels up*

For You I Was A Flame by Frais
Pairing:Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz
Summary:Pete thinks about ending it for his own sanity, to stop the heartbreak before it develops, but then Patrick will text him some stupid piece of trivia about the fucking Bermuda Triangle, or a demo of a new song and Pete chickens out. This will be good enough; it will be enough.

Why: Patrick's a musician not looking for anything serious, Pete's a photographer trying to change Patrick's mind about that. Patrick is gender diverse and Pete's a little clumsily enthusiastic about him exactly the way he is. It's beautifully handled. A little angsty, very hot and gorgeous characterizations. This is the first instalment in a trilogy.

Of innocence and experience by euphrasie
Pairing:Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz/Gabe Saporta
Summary: Gabe and Pete hook up on occasion. They need a third person for what they want to try, but Patrick isn't exactly an easy option. Pure filth.\

Why: Don't let the summary fool you, this is an emotionally complex little fic about Gabe and Pete inviting Patrick to have a threesome with them and unforeseen complications. Patrick is a surprisingly assertive little bitch, Pete is an oblivious asshole that mostly means well, and Gabe is everything I love about Gabe. The story is scorchingly hot, surprisingly beautiful and hurty and haunting.

The "Tell Me I'm A Bad Man" Series by LadySmutterella
Pairing:Mikey Way/Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Summary:“You fuck me when you know he’s there,” Frank says. “Do you think he watches?”
“Sometimes.” Mikey’s voice is ruined and he’s clenching around Frank, open and desperate. “I want him to watch. I want him to touch me.”

Why: Gerard likes to watch, Mikey likes Gerard to watch and Frank accidentally gets caught in the middle. It's hot as the motherfucking sun. It's angsty and beautifully nuanced and these boys are so vulnerable and so brave and so safe with each other. (Author has warned for dubcon)

Auralphonic by Dodificus, Jenepod and Paraka
A podcast on podfic by three incredibly talented podficcers and excellent podcast hosts. Hilarious and meta and educational and super inclusive of different views on things. Topics like "Editing," "Tips for Newbies," "Sexy Podfic," "Feedback," etc. I'm not even a podficcer and I'm obsessed with this thing.

/report by Rageprufrock and Mklutz
This podcast feels a little bit like sitting in on an incredibly long dialogue (5 seasons!) between two fanfic-obsessed nerdy besties who support and abuse each other in equal measures. Some episodes are fandom-specific, others revolve around "Tropes," "Character Death," "First Times" and "The Fourth Wall." Excellent guests, brilliant conversations and so many times where I want to jump in and disagree or weigh in because it's just so wonderfully engaging.

Say Crack Again by itsforscience
A series of tiny video snippets set to music. This is just incredible and hilarious and ridiculous and I can't understand why it hasn't gone viral yet. So good.

Fanvid for "Mama" by itsforscience, mainly using clips from Ghost of You, Welcome to the Black Parade and Famous Last Words. It's stunning.
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2016-01-14 04:14 am

Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day 11

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Day 11
In your own space, make a list of at least 3 things that you like about yourself.

Oh man. I thought this was going to be the hardest thing, until I read other day 11 posts and was completely floored by the brilliance and bravery and confidence of other snowflakes.

1. I'm kind and generous and gentle with people. I'm careful with my words and actions. I make sure the people in my life know they're important to me. I'm the person my dog curls up next to in a thunderstorm. My wife tells me I'm a unicorn.

2. I'm resourceful. Work, health, relationships, IT issues, life. When things get hard, I find a way through.

3. I speak three languages, I've lived and traveled across the world and I know enough trivia about food/music/culture/religion/history/politics to hold an engaging conversation with pretty much anyone. I'm hard to beat at Trivial Pursuit... unless the questions are related to sports, at which point I am beyond useless. :)
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2016-01-11 08:13 pm

Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day 9

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Day 09
In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private.

Hm. Haven't been well for a few days, so this'll be short and sweet. Three goals for each.

- Find new and interesting ways of being creative and participating in fandom. Art, comms, challenges, podfic, reccing, cheerleading. Writing is awesome, but when RSI and writer's block and anxiety are making that difficult - work around it.
- Branch out. Read, watch and listen to new things. Check out new fandoms.
- Finish and post the writer WIP, the foursome WIP and the AIB sequel WIP.

- Complete Couch to 5K in Jan/Feb/March (day 1 today! missing the couch already). Do yoga. Go hiking. Walk. My pain is better when I'm moderately active, I sleep better and I'm happier. Win/win.
- Keep using Dragon voice recognition on the PC, Siri on the phone, the ergonomic keyboard, touch screens and stand up/sit down desk, etc. Ice, heat, stretch, strengthen. Don't waste spoons on the PC/phone unless it's worth it. Keep believing it can get better, even when I want to curl into a ball and give up.
- Floss more often. (I ran out of goals. Everyone needs to floss?)
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2016-01-08 11:51 pm

Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day 7

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Day 7
In your own space, share a favorite piece of original canon (a TV episode, a song, a favorite interview, a book, a scene from a movie, etc) and explain why you love it so much.

One of my favorite pieces of MCR canon is 1:09:30 into this show at Maxwell's in Hoboken, NJ. The show takes place in late 2007, at the tail end of their exhausting touring for Black Parade, about a month after LynZ and Gerard got married on the last date of the Projekt Revolution tour. The show itself is an frantic, intimate affair on a tiny stage in a crowded venue. It's clearly hot in there; it looks like the sort of show where condensation from sweaty bodies rises to the ceiling and then drips disgustingly back down as rain. The cameras are close and shaky and constantly zooming in and out. Ray and Frank's backing vocals are wonderfully audible and there are close ups of their fingers on their guitars. It's late in the tour, everyone's haircuts have all grown out of shape. It's messy, raw, visceral.

At 18:45, Gerard talks about how he and Mikey's grandma only ever saw them play once, 5.5 years ago at this same venue. At 30:20, Frank says "Lie to me" instead of "Trust me" in I'm Not Okay. 34:30, Gerard mimes giving blowjobs, seemingly in Frank's direction during You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison. At 57:00, they play Stay/Someone Out There Loves You. At 1:09:56, Ray seems to be wearing a T-shirt with a photo of Pete Wentz's face(...?). It's an excellent show with countless little special moments.

But at 1:09:30, after they've played Helena, everyone walks off stage except Dewees and Gerard, who stay for a piano version of Cancer. And Frank - who slumps down against an amp with his guitar still in his hands, looking wrecked and exhausted and wrung out and beautiful, his lips parted and his sweaty hair in tangles across his face - who just openly watches. It's a heartfelt performance of Cancer, an intimate moment between Gerard and a room of sweaty bodies and Frank at his side. And in my fannish little heart, I can't help but make up stories about what this show could mean to them, who they are to each other in this moment in time, what's happened and happening and about to happen.
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2016-01-05 09:33 pm

Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day 5

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Leave feedback for a fanwork. Or multiple fanworks. It can be as simple as I liked this to a detailed list of all the things you loved about the fanwork. The key is to leave some sort of feedback.

Made a list of all the things I can think of that I've read/listened to lately and still haven't left feedback for. Goal: to complete by the end of the month.

There's something incredibly special to me about giving feedback, about getting to summarize my response to someone's work and highlight the things that moved me, that surprised me, that made me hurt or laugh or feel. I know the author is going to be interrupted in their daily routine by an email notification and see that someone has read/listened to/looked at/etc their beautiful fanwork and fucking loves it. That reciprocity and love between creators and consumers feels important to me, and I love doing it.

As a recovering lurker, however, leaving comments is a relatively new thing for me. Because I'm a obsessive neurotic crazy person that needs a manual for everything, here are a few links that I sometimes refer to, which may also be of interest to other snowflakes for day 5 :)

- Podfic Feedback Toolbox: 5 ways to give great podfic feedback by klb
- Commenting on Podfic: Vocabulary by yue_ix
- Beyond "Good job! Update plz!" - How to write better reviews by Rosawyn
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2016-01-04 03:23 pm

Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day 3

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Day 03
In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator.

I meant to write these as self-recs, I swear. And then instead I accidentally just waxed poetic about why these three stories are significant to me instead. *jazz hands*

You Shouldn’t Go With Him (When You Could’ve Had Me) 20k
Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz, Patrick Stump/Ray Toro
During the hiatus, Patrick starts dating Ray while he records Soul Punk in Chicago. Out of nowhere, Pete starts sending him cryptic text messages: lyrics, poetry, things Patrick could probably decipher if he tried. But. It’s been months since they put the band on hold, and Patrick’s still entirely out of things to say to Pete. Cue surprises, angst, mistakes, heartache, porn and a rather blatant disregard for canon timelines.

This story was the first thing I wrote after a decade-long creative dry spell. It tumbled out of my head unexpectedly over the course of a week and I never had any idea what the next scene was going to be while I was writing it. As the story took shape and I committed it to paper, I felt relieved and exhilarated and proud and competent. After posting it to AO3 and receiving surprisingly positive feedback, I felt connected to fandom in a way I hadn’t for the decade+ that I’d been lurking. I stopped admiring other people’s work from afar and actually started leaving comments. I participated in a challenge. I pushed through anxiety that had until then had felt quite overwhelming. I started making friends. This story will always have a place in my heart because it was my way in, it was the unexpected little gem that showed me I had something to contribute.

And I’ll Burn 25.5k
Pete Wentz/Patrick Stump, Frank Iero/Mikey Way
Hooker!AU. Pete’s a 23yo finance professional trying to make sense of his life after an incident in a best buy parking lot. He’s lonely, anxious, disconnected, but lately he’s been driving past this one beautiful boy on a street corner, pale and underweight and most likely jailbait. He finally grows a pair and puts some money in an envelope.

This is probably the thing I’ve written that feels the most complete to me. I’m particularly proud of the characterizations, the silences that neither of them have words to fill, and the use of juxtapositions as a narrative devices (privileged/disprivileged, connected/alienated, fed/hungry, resilient/fragile, etc). Beyond the love story, like most of my work it also tells stories about addiction, sadness, loss, anxiety, loneliness, and is partially autobiographical.

I have the beginning of a sequel in my drafts folder, a story that unpacks what happens after they get together: Pete’s still struggling with his health and Patrick’s still a sex worker and the world still isn’t easy for them. It never quite got off the ground, but talking about it now has made me want to revisit it.

Old Scars / Future Hearts 50k
Grant Morrison/Gerard Way/Frank Iero, Pete Wentz/Patrick Stump, Mikey Way/Kristin Blandford, Ray Toro/Jessica Simpson
Frank is not a fucking junkie, he tells himself repeatedly throughout this story centered on a Narcotics Anonymous community in New Jersey. He isn’t. He just doesn’t quite remember how to deal with his life without booze and drugs. Then he meets Gerard (mysterious and dark and understanding) and Grant (safe and generous and seductive), and things get… complicated.

Through an ensemble cast of addicts in this NA community, this tells a number of parallel stories about recovery, redemption, forgiveness and hope. About starting where you are, letting go of where you’ve been and learning to move towards better things. It’s a little bit about kink and poly, but mostly it’s about pain in all its guises and attempts to hurt less.

Almost in parallel with Frank’s journey in this story, I was struggling with my own anxiety and chronic pain while writing this. It hurt more than anything I’d written before, it was only meant to be 12K and somehow grew all these feelings and backstory and clocked in at a dizzying 50K. I’m still unable to see the forest for the trees with this fic; some of it was written very last minute and I don’t know if it worked like I meant it to. It’s probably the piece of writing I feel the most vulnerable about, the writing process I learned the most from and the story where feedback means the most. This was the first time I’d worked with a beta or showed my work to anyone while writing and it was alternately terrifying and encouraging and I feel very proud of it.

Whew, overshare. Thanks for reading :)
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2016-01-02 07:02 pm

Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day 2

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Day 2
In your own space, create a list of at least three fannish things you'd love to receive, something you've wanted but were afraid to ask for - a fannish wish-list of sorts. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your wish-list if you feel comfortable doing so. Maybe someone will grant a wish. Check out other people's posts. Maybe you will grant a wish. If any wishes are granted, we'd love it if you link them to this post.

Oh man. Asking for things is not a strong suit of mine. In the slightest. But in the spirit of snowflakes and fandom and bravery and all that is shiny, here we go:

1) So I LOVE podfic. A whole lot. I am constantly listening to it, and will usually listen to my favorites upwards of ten times. Here are a few (relatively long) stories I keep coming back to again and again and again, which would be incredible to have in my ears:
- L for Lucky, M For Mine by deadpegasus
- Creepy Carnival by RubyTuesday5681
- Says the Magpie To The Morning (Sorrow Take Your Own Advice) by femmequixotic
- Tell Me I'm A Bad Man by LadySmutterella
- Or. Um. Any of my stuff, should anyone feel so inclined. *hides*

2) The Mikey Way/Grant Morrison hospital!AU where Mikey's an ER nurse, Frank's a punk ass paramedic who never knows when to shut up, Gee's a frustrated but well-meaning social worker and Ray is a chaplain or psychiatrist that just can't get a date. Enter a dashingly handsome new surgeon from Scotland who's easily 20 years older than Mikey, but somehow still makes Mikey's stomach swoop... until he realizes he's kind of an arrogant asshole. I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS A THING THAT I WANT. But I do and I can't stop thinking about it.

3) This is a rather abstract type wishlist item, but I keep wishing there was an interview series blog or a podcast that profiles fic writers/podficcers/artists/etc - and picks their brains about their inspirations, their creative process, what they want to express through their work, their takes on fandom, who else in fandom they are inspired by, a list of their three favorite fanworks, etc. Like the Voice and Verse podcast, but with fan creators instead of lyricists.

4) For you to come say hi on twitter, because you seem really cool and we should probably be friends. :) (only locked due to nosy relatives)
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2016-01-01 10:01 pm

Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day 1

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Day 01
In your own space, talk about why you are doing the Fandom Snowflake Challenge? What drew you to it as a participant? What do you hope to accomplish by doing these challenges?

Despite lurking for over a decade, I've only been actively contributing to fandom for about a year. In that year, I've made amazing connections with encouraging, talented, generous people, and worked on things that felt exciting and revealing and scary and important to me. I love fandom, I love the music and the words and the podfic and the art. Why wouldn't I want to flail about fannish things for fifteen days in excellent company? :)